February 9, 2015


9 tips to survive a break up

First of all, I am really sorry if you got your little heart broken. Loosing someone that has been a big part of your life is a terrible thing and you probably feel awful, but it's temporary, I hope you know this. It takes time to feel better, but you WILL feel better, I promise. I've been there, most of us been or will be there and even if it sucks big time, it can help you learn some pretty important lessons about your life. You probably don't think about any lessons right now when you feel like giving up on life, but don't you worry, I have some tips for you which, I hope, will help you to feel just a liitle bit better.

1. Cry it out

You deserve to cry as much as you want to at this point. You've got your heart broken, you probably feel like it's been ripped out of your chest, so you are allowed to cry. Cry until you can't anymore, until you've had enough of it and you get bored of it. Don't keep it all in, cry and let yourself wallow while you're mending your little heart. This is a perfect time to listen to Adele and Taylor Swift and cry as you're singing these songs. And after you're done singing Someone Like You, you are never getting back together, like, ever.

2. Don't stalk them on social media

After you've done crying or in between crying sessions you are probably going to have a big urge to check your ex on every possible social media. It's a bad idea, trust me. You don't need to know or see what he is doing, it definitely won't make you feel better if you're going to see a new picture he posted two nights after you guys broke up and you won't see sad songs posted on his Facebook wall that you're expecting to find. I would even advice to remove them from social media at all, I don't really believe in being friends with your ex and keeping people who just make you unhappy in your social media life is just unnecessary I think. This way you won't even have a chance to stalk you ex whenever you have a little bit too much wine, when you feel lonely on a cold winter night or in the middle of a great party. 

3. Don't write or call them

Sure, there are some situations in life when it's just impossible to avoid contact with your ex, but if it's possible, don't.do.it. It doesn't help anyone because break up has already happened and talking to them won't help you feel better, even if you think it will. Hearing your ex happy will drive you mad, because why isn't he sad when I can't stop crying??, but hearing him sad won't make you happier either. You don't have things to discuss anymore, you are not a part of each other lives and that article you found that he would definitely like, really shouldn't be sent to him. Make a deal with your best friend that you could call them when you're feeling your hand reaching the phone. Most importantly, DON'T call them when you're a little bit tipsy, that's just not needed, sweetie.

4. Don't forget to take care of you

If you got your heart broken, that doesn't mean your life has ended. You can spend couple of days at home with your baggiest pajama pants and loose t-shirt with Lisa Simpson on it, but in couple of days you will have to take a shower and leave home,  so just put on makeup on, paint your nails, put on the nicest dress you have and walking down the streets with your head held up high.
I didn't even let myself spend any days in my baggy clothes, I felt like I shouldn't stop taking care of myself just because my heart was not beating in my chest for a while. I believe that when you look good, when you put effort into putting your makeup on and doing your hair, you instantly feel better. And isn't that exactly what you need?

5. Be with people you love

Don't isolate yourself at home, go outside, spend time with people you love. You have probably neglected your best friends and your family when you got into a relationship, so it's a perfect time to say sorry and ask them to help you get your life back together. Your friends are probably awesome people, so they will help you without even asking and I was fortunate enough to have amazing friends helping me every step of the way and my family who really took care of me. Also, apologize in advance that you will be speaking a little bit too much about your ex for a couple of weeks probably. Just spend time with people who love and support you, go to grab some coffee, go to cinema, take a walk, do whatever makes you happy, just don't spend time surrounded by your 4 walls, it is going to be much harder to feel better when you are stuck in your room and thinking about every little conversation you guys have had. 

9 tips to help yourself during a break up

6. Get rid of the things that remind you of your ex

Take the pictures from the frames, from your walls, put these stuffed animals, these earrings you got on Valentine's day and letters into a box, put all of the clothes you might have left to the box as well and put it somewhere you don't see every day. You can also burn all the letters and pictures if you feel like it. Everyone deals with the pain differently, there's nothing wrong with it. Just put all of these things away, even the smallest ones that remind you of them, so you could move on without all these little bits and pieces reminding you of this part of your life you are trying to move on from.

7. Rebound relationships are probably a bad idea

It's oh so tempting to get into a rebound relationship after getting your heart broken, because it gets incredibly lonely at times, but it's not a wise thing to do while your heart is still broken into many little pieces. Rebound relationships can't really last that long, because you're getting into them for the wrong reasons and it's not really fair to the other person as well, because they might really like you, without even knowing they are just your rebound. Just wait some time until you feel like yourself again to get into a new relationship. It's really healthy to be alone for a while, to get yourself back together, to understand all the lessons from the past relationships and understand what you want.

8. Write it all out.

I say writing helps for everything, but it does help incredibly after a breakup. You can create a little ritual for yourself, light some candles, grab a glass of wine or tea, play some music and write it all out, all of the feelings you have, all the regrets you have and all the words you wish you've said to him, but never got the chance to. Cry if you need to, stop if you need to, come back after a while. Letting your feelings out on the paper can help you incredibly, just try to, you will see what I'm talking about.

9. Be kind to yourself

Most importantly, remember to be kind to yourself. You've had a big, traumatic experience in your life and you have to remember to love yourself. Treat yourself nicely, pamper yourself, go shopping if you need to, watch, read and listen to anything you want, go out, stay in, exercise, have little dance parties, sing at the top of your lungs. 
Mending your hear will take some time, for some it will be a very quick process, for some way longer and harder experience. But it's temporary, time will mend all your wounds and you probably would like to punch everyone who says that time is healing in the face, but these people are saying the truth. Time will pass, you will forget how many days you haven't seen him or for how many days, weeks and finally months you've been single and you will learn to enjoy your life all over again. Break ups can make you learn some great things about yourself, show you what you want in your new relationship and what you don't want and they also show you just how strong you are. Because you are. You have learned some important lessons in the relationship and you will learn some pretty important ones once you're out of it. Believe me, it might turn out to be a very good thing for you, if you only let yourself embrace the change. 
Sun will start to shine, lovely, and don't forget to smile and you will be fine! ♥ 

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  1. Fantastic post! I wish I had read this when I was younger! I was never good at handling break ups. I kept to myself and just cried all day and was super depressed... I should have spent more time with my girl friends and family! I had so much to be thankful for, but I always let a boy ruin it and make me thing my life sucked. :/ I've learned!


  2. These are such wonderful tips <3 I wish I had read all this a few years back! I had my heartbroken after being in a relationship for three years. I definitely made the mistake of staying in touch with my ex, because I thought it would help me ease out of the relationship instead of just completely cutting all communication. It's better to just completely let go and move on. It's so great that you're sharing this advice with everyone though, it's something we all eventually have to go through :(


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